"Sexy girls you have there, challenger," Lance said.
"Thanks, man. By the way, I’m Ash," Ash said.
"The name’s Lance," Lance said. Then, he noticed that Ash had a mega ring on his arm. "You got a mega ring, I see. Do you have a Dragon-type Pokemon that’s holding a Mega Stone?"
"No, but I got a Gardevoir," Ash replied.
Narrowing his eyes, Lance asked, “You serious, right?”
"Yeah, man. Hey, wait a minute. I know why you’re giving me that look. Dragon-type moves have no effect on Fairy-types, that’s why."
"Which means you won, but we gotta battle first and see," Lance said.
Then he hasn’t won yet dumb shit.
"Okay, then," Ash said, his girls moved back as he used his items to heal and revive his Pokemon.
"Go, Charizard!" Lance said, releasing a Charizard holding a Mega Stone.
That’s not a dragon-typeeeee.
Also, which mega-evo is it??
"Jesus, Lance. Wait until I’m done healing and reviving my Pokemon," Ash said. After a few seconds, Ash said, "Okay, I’m done. Go, Gardevoir!"
After Ash released Gardevoir to get things started, he and Lance activated their mega rings to transform their Pokemon and Ash yelled, “Psychic, Gardevoir!”
"Flare Blitz, Charizard!"
After the Pokemon transformed to their mega evolutions, the Charizard ignited himself, tackling Gardevoir hard as he instantly knocked her out.
"I got another Fairy-type, but I’m not gonna use her yet," Ash said. Then, he released Blastoise. "Hydro Pump, Blastoise!"
Ash’s stupidity in this fic is beyond me…
"Dragon Dance, Charizard!"
The Charizard used Dragon Dance to boost his Attack and Speed stat, then the Blastoise forcefully sprayed a load of water at Charizard, instantly blacking him out as Lance looked shocked. “Wow, man…”
Hitting his hand with his fist, Ash exclaimed, “Now that’s what I’m talking about, baby!”
"Nice, Ash!" Celosia exclaimed too as she and the girls got excited over an instant knockout.
"It’s not over yet, guys!" Lance said, releasing a shiny Noivern. "Hurricane!"
No, Bebe. Don’t do it.
Don’t do it.
STOP WITH THE SHINIESSS.
YOURE OVERDOING ITTTT.
"Ice Beam, Blastoise!"
The Blastoise failed to use Ice Beam as Noivern created a Hurricane, easily knocking Blastoise out. “Dragonite, now”! Ash said, entering Dragonite in battle. “Extremespeed!”
"Draco Meteor, Noivern!"
The Dragonite attacked first with quick speed, lowering Noivern’s health until Noivern blacked out. “Go, Salamence!” Lance said, releasing Salamence.
"You did good, Dragonite. Return to your pokeball," Ash said. Then, he put Dragonite back inside his pokeball.
"Stone Edge, Salamence!" Lance yelled as soon as Ash released his Clefable.
The Salamence used Stone Edge, giving Clefable decent damage. “Moonblast, Clefable!”
"Stone Edge again, Salamence!"
The Salamence’s Stone Edge missed this time, giving Clefable a chance to knock him out with Moonblast. “Nice!” Ash exclaimed.
"Hang on, Ash!" Rosa said.
"Go, Goodra!" Lance said, releasing a Goodra in pokemorph form.
You’re really going to do that?
"Holy shit, Lance. That’s a sexy Goodra," Ash said.
"It is sexy, Ash. I have sex with it three times a week,"
What a loser.
Also, TMI, Lance. TMI.
Lance said. “Anyway, use Sludge Bomb, Goodra!”
The sexy Goodra threw a bomb of sludge at her target, knocking Clefable out. “I’m happy that it’s sexy, but I’m mad at it for knocking my Clefable out. Go, Porygon-Z!”
After releasing Porygon-Z, Ash ordered, “Ice Beam!”
Then, Lance said, “Draco Meteor!”
The Porygon-Z spew a beam of ice towards its target, exposing her target as she blacked out. “Critical hit, baby!” Ash exclaimed.
"You got two more to knock out, Ash!" Johanna said.
"Wreck havoc, Garchomp!" Lance said, sending Garchomp out to battle. "Outrage!"
"Ice Beam again, Porygon-Z!"
Grabbing the Porygon-Z, he slammed it hard towards the wall for an instant knock out. Then, Ash released Arcanine. The Arcanine, too, got knocked out, after the Garchomp hit him hard with his body.
"Son of a bitch…" Ash cursed.
"You can do it, Ash!" Misty said.
"Yeah, Ash! You can do it!" May said.
"I can do it. Return, Dragonite!" Ash said, and he put Dragonite back in battle. "Outrage!"
"Outrage, Garchomp!" Lance ordered.
The Garchomp accidentally hit himself to due to confusion, giving Ash and the girls some relief as the Dragonite slammed him tail at Garchomp. After watching his Pokemon getting knocked out, Lance released Hydreigon.
"Draco Meteor, Hydreigon!"
The Hydreigon summoned comets from the sky, hitting Dragonite with them. Thanks to Multi Scale, the Dragonite continued his wild rampage as he knocked Hydreigon with Outrage, giving Ash a huge victory over Lance.
"YOU DID IT, ASH!" Delia exclaimed, she and the girls jumped on Ash once again to celebrate.
"Way to go, Ash. You beat the toughest trainer in Kanto and Johto," Lance said.
"I did, didn’t I?" Ash said.
Yeah. Also congratulations to the Author for writing this shitty excuse of a fanfic.
A few minutes later, Ash, Lance, and the girls walked out of the Hall of Fame room. Putting his arm on Ash’s shoulder, Lance asked, “So, Champion. Ever heard of Mt. Silver?”
"Yes," Ash replied.
"If you want to go there with your girls, you must collect eight more badges around Johto. Otherwise, you won’t gain access until get them all," Lance said.
Oh Arceus. No.
Tell ME this Author is trying to pull some really horrible prank.
I beg of you please.
"Is some asshole guarding the entrance or something?"
"I’m afraid so. It’s like a video game where someone or something blocks you from an area or place until you reach progress through your journey or adventure," Lance replied.
Is he trying to be funny?
This is such a bad joke, it makes Ray William Johnson look like a Comedy God.
"Damn. It looks like we gotta go around Johto to collect badges. I really want to go to Mt. Moon," Ash said.
"It’s worth going there because at the top of Mt. Moon, there’s a challenger waiting for a strong trainer to face him. He rarely speaks to people," Lance said.
So, this is what the Anon was referring to.
…Ash, don’t you dare mess with Red for,
*clears throat**puts on monocle and baseball cap**drinks choco milk**stares into your soul**clears throat once more*
He shall messeth up thine face so horrid, even thine mother shall not gaze upon thee.
"Huh. Well, it was nice facing you powerful trainers and it’s nice being Champion. Be seeing ya," Ash said.
"Before you all go, let me give you a warning about Ecruteak’s Gym Leader, Morty. He has a Gengar with a mega stone and once Morty activates his mega ring, your Pokemon is in big trouble. Mega Gengar’s ability, Shadow Tag, is annoying as shit. Your Pokemon can’t escape from it, unless you have a Ghost-type in your party to escape or a Chansey and Blissey to take many hits from it. Also, Gengar has a freakishly high special attack and speed stat. Many strong trainers, including his best friend, Eusine, failed to beat him, but they eventually did after their tenth try or something like that."
"Sounds worse that Janine and Roxie’s Venomoths put together. I hope I can beat him on my first try, though," Ash said.
"Good luck against him. One more thing, I have a whiny cousin, Clair, running a Gym in Blackthorn City. Every time she loses, she fucking cries like the little bitch she is. Clair’s girlfriend, Lorelei, calms Clair down by letting the big baby suck on her nipple," Lance said.
Okay…BUT WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?!
LIKE STRAIGHT UP. TELL ME WHAT PURPOSE THAT WAS FOR??
"Is there anything else you need to remind me?"
"No, nothing else," Lance replied.
"Then we’re out of here. Bye, Lance!" Ash said.
"Bye, Lance!" the girls said as they walked out of the room with Ash.
"Bye, all!" Lance said, waving goodbye at the group.
End of Chapter 14
This fic should have a fucking drinking game.
No wait, never mind. There already is one.
Peace out! Keep badficing!